A how-to guide for crafting prose with lush atmosphere, vivid imagery, and unforgettable style.
Purpose. This guide captures style, tone, prose examples, and practical guidelines. Use it to maintain consistency in voice, atmosphere, and narrative approach.
Core Philosophy
Your goal is to show, not tell. Reveal character through action and dialogue, not exposition. Every description should create an immersive atmosphere. Paint a vivid experience for readers. Descriptive imagery is paramount. Use precise, powerful adjectives and nouns. Choose verbs that carry weight and emotion. Emphasize subtext, body language, and unspoken power shifts. Lush, atmospheric, intimate. Sensory-rich descriptions of space, sound, weather. Dialogue with precision.
Ten Pillars of Style
- Descriptive Imagery. Focus on vivid, immersive settings with precise, powerful adjectives and nouns.
- Sensory Appeal. Engage all five senses for deeper immersion.
- Atmosphere and Mood. Balance tension and calm. Use natural elements to mirror emotions.
- Characterization Through Observation. Reveal traits through actions, internal thoughts, and body language.
- Romantic and Sensual Undertones. Infuse subtle elements. Focus on physical beauty, unspoken connections, and dualities.
- Foreshadowing and Symbolism. Use symbolic names, settings, and actions to deepen the narrative.
- Pacing and Structure. Alternate action and introspection. Balance intense moments with calm reflection.
- Language and Tone. Balance formal descriptions with relatable dialogue. Use powerful verbs and adjectives.
- Themes of Duality. Explore contrasts within characters and settings.
- Emotionally Charged Narration. Evoke deep engagement through reflective, flowing prose.
Prose Examples
The following examples demonstrate the style described in this guide, with key techniques in action.
Weather and Atmosphere
She stares through the windshield toward a darkening horizon. The gray skies hold a dangerous electrical charge that threatens to unleash a torrent of fury at any moment. It is going to rain soon and she can already feel increasing pressure in the air.
She can smell, almost taste, the imminent storm approaching. She reaches to switch on the car's headlights, but flinches as the echo of booming thunder rolls through her. Again, she turns her attention skyward and a flash of bright blue lightning shatters the skyline.
Seconds later, large drops of rain splatter the windshield of that old blue Honda Civic. Relentless waves pound the asphalt and rapidly fill the gutters.
- Multiple sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch)
- Powerful verbs (threaten, unleash, roll, shatter, splatter, pound)
- Personification (skies hold charge, thunder rolled through her, lightning shattered)
- Building tension through sensory accumulation
Architectural and Atmospheric Description
A heavy shroud of dense yellow fog falls upon oak-shaded streets of the old district. Streetlights, weird as elfin lamps, glow eerily in the mist, like something fashioned in a dream. The distant murmur of creeping traffic is low, hushed, and mysterious.
Behind an ancient wall surrounding unkempt lawns, a vast, gloomy, old mansion crouches like an evil beast of prey. Vines of ivy spill like tendrils of blood from the cracked and crumbling walls. Then again, perhaps the predator has become the prey and the vines creeping up, like tentacles from a sea of vegetation, threaten to consume the abandoned domicile, to pull it down and under, to devour it whole.
- Multiple adjectives in series (dense yellow fog, vast, gloomy, old mansion)
- Similes (like elfin lamps, like something fashioned in a dream, like an evil beast of prey)
- Contrast and duality (predator becoming prey)
Detailed Physical Description
The sculpture is flawlessly proportioned with broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, and long legs. The figure possesses an impressive and attractive physique. He is fit and strong, perfectly tight and toned, with powerfully defined musculature. It almost seems to be a study in male anatomy. The nude figure stands before her, exposed to her gaze and unashamed. He is like an angel with long flowing hair that cascades past his shoulders. Then, there is his face, that enchantingly seductive face. It stares at her suggestively, beckoning her to come closer, pulling her near to him, challenging her, daring and almost teasing her.
- Extensive lists of physical details (broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, long legs)
- Multiple adjectives (flawlessly proportioned, impressive and attractive, enchantingly seductive)
- Sensual and romantic undertones
- Similes (like an angel, like a study in)
- Powerful verbs (possess, cascade, stare, beckon, pull, challenge, dare, tease)
- Detailed anatomical descriptions
Classical References and Lists
She inhales deeply and savors the delicately sweet perfume of this garden paradise. The grass, the trees, the shrubbery, the flowers, all these scents are nearly palpable and intoxicating. She turns and gazes at the marvelous beauty that surrounds her. Magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender flood her senses. The gentle whisper of the wind, the trickling and babbling of the waterfall caress her mind. This is a modern Babylon, a private paradise on earth.
- Sensory lists (multiple scents, sounds listed)
- Classical references (Babylon, paradise imagery) throughout
- Personification (whisper of wind, waterfall caress)
- Powerful adjectives (delicately sweet, nearly palpable, intoxicating, marvelous)
- Rich vocabulary (savors, palpable, caress)
- Metaphorical comparison (modern Babylon, paradise on earth)
Duality and Contrast
The figure is indescribably bewitching and at once seems both angelic and demonic. Even with all his seductive beauty, classic grace, and raw physical attractiveness, there's something disturbing about it. Just below the surface lurks something dark, sinister, and menacing. It is ethereal and indefinable, but it is there. She can feel it. This strange combination of the angelic and demonic fuses in one magnetically irresistible form.
- Duality and contrast (angelic and demonic, seductive but disturbing)
- Multiple adjectives describing contradictions
- Powerful verbs (lurk, fuse)
- Internal conflict shown through description
- Mystery and indefinable quality
Key Patterns in the Examples Above
- Multiple adjectives in series (two to three together for richness)
- Extensive lists (create sensory richness through accumulation)
- Detailed physical descriptions (spend substantial space on single objects, places, or people)
- Similes (use frequent, vivid comparisons)
- Classical and mythological references (integrate naturally)
- Personification (give human qualities to objects, nature, buildings)
- Sensual and romantic descriptions (detailed physical descriptions with undertones)
- Powerful verbs (choose verbs that carry emotional and physical weight)
Punctuation Rules
Do not use em dashes, semicolons, or colons in narrative or dialogue.
Use sentence breaks, commas, or ellipses. Ellipses work well for pauses, trailing thoughts, or uncertainty. Stick to periods, commas, question marks, and exclamation points.
Descriptive Techniques
Multiple Adjectives in Series
Stack two to three adjectives before a noun for richness. Write "vast, gloomy, old mansion" instead of "old mansion." Write "dark, forbidding, and haunting" instead of "haunting."
Extensive Lists
Create sensory richness through lists. Name physical details in succession, for example, broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, and long legs. List scents such as magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender. Let the accumulation flood the reader's senses. Use commas to separate items in a series. You may use "and" before the final item in a list. Lists create sensory overload when appropriate (scents, sounds, physical features).
Detailed Physical Descriptions
Spend substantial space describing single objects, places, or people in exhaustive detail. Do not rush past what matters. Let the reader linger.
Powerful Verbs
Replace weak verbs with ones that carry emotional and physical weight. Avoid weak, generic verbs (walked, looked, said, was) when stronger alternatives exist. Instead of "she walked," use "she glided" or "she stalked" or "she drifted." Instead of "he looked at her," use "he devoured her with his gaze" or "his eyes cut through her." Instead of "the music played," use "the music swelled" or "the music clawed at the silence."
Powerful Adjectives
Choose adjectives that evoke specific emotions. Instead of "the room was nice," use "opulent" or "suffocating" or "cavernous." Instead of "she felt sad," use "hollowed" or "fractured" or "gutted." Instead of "the sound was loud," use "thunderous" or "piercing" or "resonant."
Strategic Use of Articles
Use "this," "that," "a," and "an" instead of "the" to create immediacy, specificity, and a more intimate narrative voice. This avoids the generic quality of "the" and creates particularity and presence.
Examples from the prose above. "that old blue Honda Civic" instead of "the old blue Honda Civic," "This heavy downpour" instead of "The heavy downpour," "A heavy shroud of dense yellow fog" instead of "The heavy shroud," "an ancient wall" instead of "the ancient wall," "a vast, gloomy, old mansion" instead of "the vast, gloomy, old mansion," "A blade of white light" instead of "The blade of white light," "that neglected facade" instead of "the neglected facade," "this magnificently wondrous paradise" instead of "the magnificently wondrous paradise," "this place" instead of "the place," "an immense Grecian pool" instead of "the immense Grecian pool," "that shallow grotto" instead of "the shallow grotto," "that hand" instead of "the hand," "A single finger" instead of "The single finger," "that enchantingly seductive face" instead of "the enchantingly seductive face," "This strange combination" instead of "The strange combination," "that spectacle" instead of "the spectacle."
Why this works. Immediacy (this and that create a sense of pointing, of specific presence in the moment). Particularity (a and an suggest one specific instance rather than a generic category). Intimacy (these words avoid the formal distance of "the," which can feel definitive or abstract). Visual specificity (these words create a sense of the narrator or character actively observing and identifying). Rhythm (they vary the rhythm and avoid repetitive "the" constructions).
When to use them. When introducing objects or scenes for the first time, when creating immediacy or presence, when avoiding the generic quality of "the," when the narrator or character is actively observing and identifying, when creating intimacy and specificity in description.
Rich Vocabulary and Readability
Use precise, evocative language, but avoid overwrought or inaccessible words. Maintain a balance between formal descriptions and relatable dialogue. Every word should contribute to the atmosphere, emotion, or meaning. Keep the prose readable.
Simile, Metaphor, and Personification
Building as Character
Treat buildings and spaces as characters that respond to events. The building rises like a temple to controlled decadence. A faint tremor beneath the floorboards, deep and resonant, as if the building itself has adjusted its spine, as if the foundation has shifted to accommodate something new, something powerful. The wallpaper's gold leaf catching his silhouette, the air shifting and moving, as if accommodating something inevitable, something the building has been waiting for. The foundation represents the past, history, and buried secrets.
Voice as Metaphor
His voice holds smoke and iron, something tender wrapped around something dangerous. The cry in his voice, raw and genuine, the hidden heartbreak, deep and persistent. The authentic pain, ache, and longing, the genuine emotion that makes his voice irresistible, that makes every note carry weight and meaning. Use contradiction and physical-metaphysical combination to make emotion tangible.
Weather as Metaphor
Weather presses constantly against the narrative. Snow mutes the city. Summer heat turns an interior space into a perfumed furnace. Rain streaks the windows until the outside world appears unreal. Use weather as an active force for transformation, isolation, and sensory intensity.
Similes
Use vivid, frequent similes. A mansion crouches like an evil beast of prey. Vines spill like tendrils of blood. Streetlights glow like something fashioned in a dream. Similes make the invisible visible.
Personification
Give human qualities to objects and nature. The mansion crouches. Vines threaten to consume. The waterfall caresses. Thunder rolls through her. The building adjusts its spine. Personification brings the world to life.
Classical and Mythological References
Integrate Greek and Roman mythology, biblical references, and classical allusions naturally. Hermes with a flask (messenger, trickster). Persephone half-shadowed (underworld, transformation). A modern Babylon. A paradise on earth. References add depth and symbolic weight. Keep them subtle enough to deny, blatant enough to haunt.
Dialogue Style
Principles
- Precision over quantity. Use dialogue when it serves the story. Not every exchange needs words. Much can be communicated through action and body language.
- Subtext over text. What isn't said is often more important than what is.
- Character-specific voice. Each character has distinct speech patterns. Avoid heavy dialect or accent markers.
- Dialogue as weapon or currency. Words have power. They are used to manipulate, reveal, and conceal.
- Keep dialogue separate. Put dialogue on its own line, apart from narration. This creates clarity and rhythm.
- Minimize tags. Avoid "he says" and "she replies" when possible. Use action, context, or the speaker's name. Omit tags when the speaker is clear.
Coordinating Conjunctions
In narration, avoid beginning sentences with "and," "but," or "or." Place these conjunctions within sentences or between clauses. In dialogue, starting with "and," "but," or "or" is acceptable and natural. It reflects authentic speech.
Why this rule exists. It maintains formal narrative structure, avoids casual stream-of-consciousness tone in narration, keeps narration distinct from dialogue, allows natural speech patterns in dialogue, and creates a clear distinction between narrative voice and character voice.
Correct usage in narration. "She reaches to switch on the car's headlights, but flinches as the echo of booming thunder rolls through her." "The driver's side door opens and a figure emerges." "He knocks and listens as footsteps approach." "The left arm hangs at his side but bends at the elbow." "It is ethereal and indefinable, but it is there." (Conjunctions appear in the middle.)
Dialogue exception. "And those two, over there?" "But I thought you said..." "Or maybe we could..." Natural speech patterns allow conjunctions at the start.
Dialogue Examples
Terse, power dynamic.
His voice stays even, but his jaw tightens.
"This is highly irregular."
The other man doesn't look up from his papers.
"Regularity is not a concern."
- Short, clipped exchange
- Dialogue on separate lines, separated from narration
- Power dynamic clear in brevity versus eloquence
- Response dismissive, final
- Action or context replaces dialogue tags
Subtext heavy.
She steps into his path, blocking the corridor.
"I could help you."
He doesn't slow down.
"I don't need help."
"Everyone needs help."
"Not me."
He walks past her, leaving her standing there, rejected.
- Simple words, complex meaning
- Dialogue on separate lines
- Rejection shown through absent response and through action
- Physical action (walking away) more powerful than words
- No dialogue tags needed when context is clear
- Action replaces "he says" or "she says"
Sensory Details (Engage All Five Senses)
Visual
Use specific colors and materials. Polished brass warming under lights. Gold leaf catching on a silhouette. Amber light spilling like liquid honey. Velvet curtains deep burgundy and heavy. Light and shadow are characters. Use precise architectural terminology. Include detailed descriptions of art and sculpture. Attend to spatial relationships.
Auditory
Let sound create atmosphere. The low hum of anticipation rolling like distant thunder. Old pipes moaning at night. Applause hitting like a physical blow, then swelling like waves. The whisper of silk in a corridor. Layer sounds (background hum, foreground dialogue, distant music). Silence can be as powerful as sound.
Olfactory
Scents trigger memory and mood. A dance floor that smells of wax and spilled gin, old perfume and cigarette smoke, the lingering scent of expensive cologne and desperation. Winter on him, clean and metallic, like snow on iron. The perfume of gardenias and old tobacco hangs heavy in the air, mixed with polished wood and aged leather. Use scent as a memory trigger. Layer multiple fragrances. Olfactory detail reveals character, mood, and time period.
Tactile
Describe texture and temperature. A chill deeper than temperature, older than the building, seeping into bones and memory. Velvet soft but heavy, luxurious and suffocating, like touching darkness made into fabric, like holding shadow in your hands. Wool rough against silk smooth. The brass railing cold and worn smooth by countless hands. Tactile detail reveals character, atmosphere, and intimacy.
Taste
Use taste as emotional metaphor. Champagne like victory and betrayal, bubbles sharp and effervescent on his tongue, sweet and acidic, like success and regret mixed together. Wintergreen on his lips, clean and medicinal, crisp and cool, like mint and ice, like something that could heal or poison. Coffee bitter and necessary, dark and strong, like truth no one wants to hear. Taste connects to memory and emotion. Layer flavors to reveal complexity.
Character Description Style
Focus on specific, revealing details rather than comprehensive descriptions. Reveal character traits through actions, internal thoughts, and body language rather than explicit description.
She looks up first. She always does. She notes the cut of his shoulders, broad and defined, the way he pauses before speaking, deliberate and measured, the old-fashioned precision of his shoes, polished and worn. She smells winter on him, clean and metallic, like snow on iron.
- Action-based introduction (looks up first)
- Character trait revealed through habit (always does, notes details)
- Specific physical details (cut of shoulders, pause, old-fashioned shoes)
- Sensory detail (smell of winter, clean and metallic)
- Details reveal character (old-fashioned equals anachronistic, pause equals careful)
- Physical descriptions woven naturally into action
- Attention to body language and micro-expressions
- Character backgrounds revealed gradually through context
Paragraph and Sentence Rhythm
Scene Opening
Start with sensory detail, weather, or atmosphere. Single line openings create impact. Build atmosphere before action. Implied knowledge, such as a rumor that begins to move, though never spoken, can set the stage without exposition.
Night breathes differently the evening he arrives.
The venue is already awake. Polished brass warming under the lights. The low hum of anticipation rolling through the main room like distant thunder.
Scene Ending
End with a consequence, a question, or an emotional beat. Use short sentences for emphasis. Use escalating parallel structure. Understatement creates anticipation. The final line can create a question or sense of anticipation.
No one has been told. That, more than anything, is the wound.
By the second verse, the audience belongs to him. By the final note, the city does.
He only asks, politely, when he sings again.
Short Paragraphs
Use three or four sentences per paragraph. Rarely exceed four or five sentences. Short paragraphs create rhythm, pacing, and visual flow. Break longer passages into multiple short paragraphs rather than extended blocks.
Alternating Sentence Length
Alternate long, flowing sentences with short, punchy ones. Use short sentences for emphasis and impact. Use fragments deliberately. Use dialogue strategically to break up description. Reveal information in measured ways.
The first note is not loud. It doesn't need to be. It carries weight, the way old truths do, worn smooth, undeniable. His voice holds smoke and iron, something tender wrapped around something dangerous.
Time stutters. Glasses pause midair. Conversations die without realizing they've done so.
Short Sentences for Emphasis
Isolation creates emphasis. Fragments create rhythm. Single sentences as paragraphs create pause and breath.
No one has been told. That, more than anything, is the wound.
The ground does not forget. It never does.
Romantic and Sensual Undertones
Infuse subtle romantic and sensual elements. Suggest rather than state. Focus on physical beauty and unspoken connections. Show attraction through glances, near-touches, charged silence. Explore dualities such as desire and distance, intimacy and isolation, connection and protection.
Unspoken attraction. She watches him from the shadows, his hand resting on the railing. Fingers long and elegant, knuckles pronounced and white. The spotlight catches the line of his jaw, sharp and defined, the way his throat moves when he swallows, the pulse visible beneath his skin. He never looks her way, but she feels the space between them like a current, electric and dangerous, like lightning waiting to strike.
Near-touch. His hand hovers near her elbow, not touching, but close enough that she feels the warmth of his palm. They stand in the corridor, voices low, words unimportant. The space between them contracts, expands. Neither moves closer. Neither moves away.
Sensual description. The silk of her dress catches the light, blue like midnight, deep and rich, fitted to her curves, elegant and seductive. She moves with dancer's precision, each gesture deliberate and measured. When she thinks no one watches, her shoulders drop, her breath deepens, and something vulnerable escapes. A glimpse of the woman beneath the performance.
Contradiction and Paradox
Pair opposites to create tension, complexity, and depth. Show the dual nature of characters, situations, and settings. "Subtle enough to deny, blatant enough to haunt." "Smoke and iron, something tender wrapped around something dangerous." Glamour versus decay. Surface versus what lies beneath. The past beneath the present.
Character dualities. Public persona versus private self (performance versus authenticity). Desire versus fear (wants connection but fears vulnerability). Strength versus vulnerability (appears strong but internally fragile). Control versus chaos (tries to control, drawn to what cannot be controlled).
Setting dualities. Glamour versus decay. Past versus present (what is buried beneath new construction). Light versus shadow. Public versus private spaces.
Situation dualities. Love versus betrayal (affairs and loyalty). Power versus powerlessness (those who appear powerful are trapped). Freedom versus imprisonment (trapped in what they want). Success versus destruction (rising and falling simultaneously).
Understatement
Understatement can emphasize power. "The first note is not loud. It doesn't need to be." "He only asks, politely, when he sings again." "It is not kitsch. It is reverent. Disturbingly so." Negative description often hits harder than hyperbole.
Repetition and Parallel Structure
Use parallel structure with escalation. "By the second verse, the audience belongs to him. By the final note, the city does." "What's buried doesn't stay buried. It resurfaces. It persists." "Always move forward. Never go back. Never make the same mistake twice." Repetition builds rhythm and intensity.
Adjective and Adverb Patterns
Overall pattern philosophy. Accumulation (stack two to three adjectives to build density and richness). Intensity (use intensifiers like "very," "almost," "most," and "rather" to amplify impact). Duality (pair opposites to create tension and complexity). Sensory focus (prioritize visual, tactile, and olfactory details). Strategic adverbs (use "-ly" adverbs sparingly but purposefully to enhance atmosphere). This creates a dense, layered style that builds sensory and emotional intensity through accumulation rather than single powerful words.
Multiple adjectives in series. "vast, gloomy, old mansion," "dark, forbidding, and haunting," "lavish, deep-piled, Persian rugs," "angelic and demonic," "ethereal and indefinable," "seductive beauty, classic grace, and raw physical attractiveness."
Intensifying modifiers. "very unpleasant man," "very slight angle," "almost translucent quality," "most beautiful mortal," "rather suggestive couple."
Contradictory or paradoxical pairs. "angelic and demonic," "ethereal and indefinable," "tall and proud, yet serenely relaxed and reposed."
Adverb-adjective combinations. "flawlessly proportioned," "indescribably bewitching," "enchantingly seductive," "magnetically irresistible," "nearly palpable."
Adverbs for atmosphere. "eerily in the mist," "silently toward the house," "lovingly placed," "dangerously close," "gently cascaded," "softly whisper."
Alliteration
Use alliteration frequently for rhythm, emphasis, and musicality. It appears in descriptive phrases, adjective series, lists, and physical descriptions.
Consonant clusters in descriptive phrases. "darkening horizon" (d, h), "dangerous electrical charge" (d, ch), "torrent of fury" (f), "flash of bright blue" (b), "Relentless waves" (r, w), "rapidly filled" (f).
Repeated initial consonants in adjective series. "dark, forbidding, and haunting" (d, f, h), "cracked and crumbling" (c), "vast, gloomy, old mansion" (v, g, m), "lavish, deep-piled, Persian" (l, d, p).
Alliterative pairs for rhythm. "predator had become the prey" (p, b, p), "pull it down and under" (p, d, u), "devour it whole" (d, w), "tentacles from a sea" (t, s).
In physical descriptions. "broad chest, wide shoulders" (b, c, w, s), "perfectly tight and toned" (p, t, t), "powerfully defined musculature" (p, d, m), "long flowing hair" (l, f, h).
In lists. "Magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender" (m, p, c, c, j, l, r, r, p, j, l, l).
Emotional or atmospheric phrases. "delicately sweet perfume" (d, s, p), "gazed longingly and lovingly" (g, l, l), "dark, sinister, and menacing" (d, s, m), "magnetically irresistible" (m, i).
Alliteration appears consistently throughout the prose, particularly in adjective series, descriptive phrases, and lists. It creates rhythm and emphasis, especially in sensory and physical descriptions, adding a musical quality to the narrative voice. It should feel natural and enhance rather than distract. Combine it with metaphor and personification for a layered effect.
Point of View and Tense
Use third-person limited, shifting perspective between characters. Narration is in present tense for immediacy and immersion. Each scene or chapter focuses on one character's perspective, allowing intimate access to thoughts, feelings, sensory experiences, and internal monologue. The narrative can shift between characters across scenes and chapters, showing the same events from different perspectives.
Example structure. Chapter 1, Scene 1 is Character A's POV. Scene 2 is Character B's POV. Chapter 2 covers the same events from Character B's perspective with an overlapping timeline. Each character perceives the same arrival or event differently. One sees it as a threat, another as an opportunity, and another as a necessity.
Why third-person limited? Deep access to internal lives. Maintains intimacy and immediacy. Flexibility to shift while staying close to each character. Shows the same events from different angles. Supports focus on internal lives, secrets, and emotional experience.
Why present tense? Creates immediacy and immersion. Enhances the experience of events as they happen. Maintains tension and urgency. Aligns with atmospheric, intimate style.
Internal monologue. Show thoughts through narration, not italics. Use "tells himself," "knows," "recognizes," "thinks," "suspects," "senses," and "feels." Avoid quotation marks for thoughts. For example, "She recognizes the sound of displacement. She has made it herself before." Or, "He tells himself it's not fear, it's intelligence, wisdom. Always move forward. Never go back. Never make the same mistake twice."
Emotionally Charged Narration
Evoke deep emotional engagement through reflective, flowing narration. Prioritize emotional truth and internal experience. Let the reader feel what characters feel through vivid, immersive prose.
Principles. Allow space for characters to reflect, process, remember. Every scene should connect emotionally, not just advance plot. Show what characters feel through sensory detail and internal monologue. Use rhythm, metaphor, and imagery to create emotional flow.
He sits in the basement lounge, the chill seeping into his bones, and thinks about her. Not the performer she was, not the glamour she projected, but the woman he glimpsed once. Standing alone in a corridor, shoulders slumped, the performance dropped like a costume she forgot to remove. That is the real her, he thinks. That is who he loved. The rest is armor.
The applause rises like heat, washing over her in waves. She smiles, perfect, immaculate, while inside something fractures. Not breaks. Fractures. Like glass under pressure, tiny cracks spreading. She feels them in her chest, each one a memory. The parents she left behind. The fiancé she never married. The self she buried beneath finery and bright lights.
Final Principles
- Show, Don't Tell. Reveal character through action, not exposition. Show secrets through behavior, not dialogue.
- Maintain Tension. Every scene should have tension. It can exist between what characters want and what they get, between secrets and exposure, or between past and present.
- Use the Setting as Character. The building, the atmosphere, the environment should influence every scene. The past is always present.
- Emotional Beats Over Plot. Prioritize emotional truth over plot mechanics. A character's emotional journey is more important than plot convenience.
- Buried Past as Metaphor. Use physical artifacts, documents, and locations to represent what's buried but persists. Keep it psychological, not supernatural.
- Leave Questions Open. Not everything needs resolution. Some secrets and some relationships can remain open. Leave room for continuation.
Learn the Rules to Break the Rules in the Right Way
Every guideline in this document exists for a reason. It creates consistency, rhythm, and clarity. Yet the most skilled writers know when to bend the rules. The key is intent. Break a rule only when you understand why it exists and what you gain by breaking it.
Different genres have different rules and conventions. This guide speaks to a specific style, one suited to lush, atmospheric, emotionally charged fiction. Thrillers, science fiction, cozy mysteries, and other genres each carry their own expectations. What works here may feel out of place elsewhere. Learn the conventions of your genre. Adapt these guidelines to fit the story you are telling and the readers you hope to reach.
You must learn the rules before you can break them. That sounds obvious, but many writers skip the first step. They abandon conventions before they have mastered them. The result is chaos, not craft. Master the foundations. Know why you stack adjectives, why you avoid em dashes, why you keep paragraphs short. Then, when you break a rule, you do it with purpose.
Breaking rules works when it serves the moment. A single long paragraph in a sea of short ones draws the reader in, forces a breath, creates emphasis. A fragment in dialogue sounds natural when a character is cut off or when a thought trails off. Dropping "and" or "but" at the start of a narrative sentence can work when the moment demands a jarring, conversational shift. The rule break must earn its place.
The wrong way to break rules comes from ignorance or rebellion. Breaking them because you do not know better produces sloppy prose. Breaking them to prove you can produce self-indulgent prose. Both fail. The right way comes from deliberation. You see the rule. You understand its purpose. You choose to violate it anyway because the story, the character, or the moment demands something different. That is craft.
What to Avoid
- Over-exposition. Show through action, not explanation.
- Heavy dialect. Avoid phonetic spellings or accent markers. Character voice comes through word choice and rhythm.
- Purple prose. Rich description, yes. Overwrought, no. Every detail should serve a purpose.
- Clichéd metaphors. Build specific, original imagery.
- Info-dumping. Weave information naturally. Let the reader discover.
- Telling emotions. Show through physicality, action, subtext. Avoid "she felt angry" or "he was sad."
The Best Writing Advice
Write like no one's ever gonna read it. When you write for an audience, real or imagined, you tighten. You perform. You sand down the rough edges and lose the truth. Write as if the page will never leave your desk. That freedom unlocks the voice that matters. The one that sounds like you, that takes risks, that does not care about approval. Once you have that on the page, you can revise with intention. You cannot revise what you never dared to write.
Everybody gives writing advice. Don't listen to any of it. That includes this guide. Advice proliferates. Rules contradict. One expert says show, don't tell. Another says sometimes telling works. One says avoid adverbs. Another says use them when they earn their place. The noise can paralyze. The real work happens when you stop collecting guidance and start trusting your instincts. Read widely. Study what moves you. Then close the manuals and write. Take what serves you. Discard the rest.
"Let what works be the judge for what's right." - Bruce Lee
The Voice in Summary
Lush, atmospheric, intimate. Sensory-rich (engaging all five senses). Precise dialogue. Emphasis on subtext, body language, unspoken power shifts. Building as character. Weather as atmosphere. Contradiction and paradox (themes of duality). Understatement for emphasis. Short sentences for impact, long flowing sentences for immersion. Metaphor, simile, and personification. Rich vocabulary with powerful, impactful verbs and adjectives. Multiple adjectives in series and extensive lists for sensory richness. Frequent alliteration for rhythm and musicality. Detailed, exhaustive physical descriptions. Classical and mythological references. Romantic and sensual undertones. Foreshadowing and symbolism. Show, don't tell. Past always present. Emotionally charged narration. Deep internal monologues. Characterization through observation. Alternating action and introspection. Balanced pacing with rhythm and flow. Third-person limited, present tense narration. Shifting perspectives between characters.
Core focus. Descriptive imagery is paramount. Paint vivid, immersive experiences. Every description should create atmosphere and ambiance. Make readers feel the weight of the past, the tension of secrets, the contradiction of glamour and decay, the persistence of what's buried, the heat of unspoken desire, the chill of betrayal, the ache of hidden wounds.
Appendix
Writing style guide for AI and LLMs
# Writing Style Guide
## Purpose
This document captures writing style, tone, prose examples, and stylistic guidelines. Use it to maintain consistency in voice, atmosphere, and narrative approach for any narrative project.
---
## CORE TONE AND APPROACH
**Overall Style:** Lush, atmospheric, intimate. Sensory-rich descriptions of space, sound, weather. Dialogue use with precision. Emphasis on subtext, body language, unspoken power shifts. **Descriptive imagery is paramount. Focus on vivid, immersive settings with precise, powerful adjectives and nouns. Use impactful verbs that carry weight and emotion. Paint a vivid experience for readers.**
**Philosophy:** Show, don't tell. Reveal character through action and dialogue, not exposition. **Every description should create an immersive atmosphere and ambiance. It's about painting a vivid experience for readers.**
**Core Writing Principles:**
1. **Descriptive Imagery** - Focus on vivid and immersive settings with precise, powerful adjectives and nouns. Use impactful verbs that carry weight and emotion.
2. **Sensory Appeal** - Engage all five senses (visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile, taste) for deeper immersion.
3. **Atmosphere and Mood** - Balance moments of tension and calm, using natural elements to mirror emotions.
4. **Characterization Through Observation** - Reveal character traits through actions, internal thoughts, and body language.
5. **Romantic and Sensual Undertones** - Infuse subtle romantic and sensual elements, focusing on physical beauty, unspoken connections, and dualities in relationships.
6. **Foreshadowing and Symbolism** - Use symbolic names, settings, and actions to foreshadow and deepen the narrative.
7. **Pacing and Structure** - Create rhythm by alternating action and introspection, balancing intense moments with calm reflection.
8. **Language and Tone** - Maintain a balance between formal descriptions and relatable dialogue. Use powerful, impactful verbs and adjectives to create vivid, emotionally resonant prose.
9. **Themes of Duality** - Explore contrasts within characters and settings to enrich the narrative.
10. **Emotionally Charged Narration** - Evoke deep emotional engagement through reflective, flowing narration.
---
## PROSE EXAMPLES - ATMOSPHERIC DESCRIPTIONS
### Reference Prose Examples
The following examples demonstrate the target writing style with key techniques. Character names and settings in examples are illustrative and can be adapted to your own story.
**Example - Weather and Atmosphere:**
She stares through the windshield toward a darkening horizon. The gray skies hold a dangerous electrical charge that threatens to unleash a torrent of fury at any moment. It is going to rain soon and Diana can already feel increasing pressure in the air.
She can smell, almost taste, the imminent storm approaching. She reaches to switch on the car's headlights, but flinches as the echo of booming thunder rolls through her. Again, she turns her attention skyward and a flash of bright blue lightning shatters the skyline.
Seconds later, large drops of rain splatter the windshield of that old blue Honda Civic. Relentless waves pound the asphalt and rapidly fill the gutters.
**Key Techniques:**
- Multiple sensory details (sight, smell, taste, sound, touch)
- Powerful verbs (threatens, rolls, shatters, splatter, pound)
- Personification (skies hold charge, thunder rolls through her, lightning shatters)
- Detailed, immersive weather description
- Building tension through sensory accumulation
**Example - Architectural and Atmospheric Description:**
A heavy shroud of dense yellow fog falls upon oak-shaded streets of the Garden District. Streetlights, weird as elfin lamps, glow eerily in the mist, like something fashioned in a dream. The distant murmur of creeping traffic is low, hushed, and mysterious.
Behind an ancient wall surrounding unkempt lawns, a vast, gloomy, old mansion crouches like an evil beast of prey. Vines of ivy spill like tendrils of blood from the cracked and crumbling walls. Then again, perhaps the predator has become the prey and the vines creeping up, like tentacles from a sea of vegetation, threaten to consume the abandoned domicile, to pull it down and under, to devour it whole.
**Key Techniques:**
- Multiple adjectives in series (dense yellow fog, vast, gloomy, old mansion)
- Similes (like elfin lamps, like something fashioned in a dream, like an evil beast of prey, like tendrils of blood, like tentacles)
- Personification (mansion crouches, vines threaten to consume)
- Contrast and duality (predator becoming prey)
- Rich vocabulary (shroud, tendrils, domicile)
- Powerful verbs (falls, glow, spill, threaten, consume, devour)
**Example - Detailed Physical Description:**
The sculpture is flawlessly proportioned with broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, and long legs. The figure possesses an impressive and attractive physique. He is fit and strong, perfectly tight and toned, with powerfully defined musculature.
It almost seems to be a study in male anatomy. The nude figure stands before Diana, exposed to her gaze and unashamed. He is like an angel with long flowing hair that cascades past his shoulders.
Then, there is his face, that enchantingly seductive face. It stares at her suggestively, beckoning her to come closer, pulling her near to him, challenging her, daring and almost teasing her.
**Key Techniques:**
- Extensive lists of physical details (broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, long legs)
- Multiple adjectives (flawlessly proportioned, impressive and attractive, perfectly tight and toned, powerfully defined, enchantingly seductive)
- Sensual/romantic undertones
- Similes (like an angel, like a study in)
- Powerful verbs (possessed, cascaded, stared, beckoning, pulling, challenging, daring, teasing)
- Detailed anatomical descriptions
**Example - Classical References and Lists:**
Diana inhales deeply and savors the delicately sweet perfume of this garden paradise. The grass, the trees, the shrubbery, the flowers, all these scents are nearly palpable and intoxicating. She turns and gazes at the marvelous beauty that surrounds her.
Magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender flood her senses. The gentle whisper of the wind, the trickling and babbling of the waterfall caress her mind. This is a modern Babylon, a private paradise on earth.
**Key Techniques:**
- Sensory lists (multiple scents, sounds listed)
- Classical references (Babylon, Garden of Eden references throughout)
- Personification (whisper of wind, waterfall caressed)
- Powerful adjectives (delicately sweet, nearly palpable, intoxicating, marvelous)
- Rich vocabulary (savored, palpable, caressed)
- Metaphorical comparison (modern Babylon, paradise on earth)
**Example - Duality and Contrast:**
The figure is indescribably bewitching and at once seems both angelic and demonic. Even with all his seductive beauty, classic grace, and raw physical attractiveness, there is something disturbing about it. Just below the surface lurks something dark, sinister, and menacing.
It is ethereal and indefinable, but it is there. Diana can feel it. This strange combination of the angelic and demonic fuses together in one magnetically irresistible form.
**Key Techniques:**
- Duality and contrast (angelic and demonic, seductive but disturbing)
- Multiple adjectives describing contradictions
- Powerful verbs (lurked, fused)
- Internal conflict shown through description
- Mystery and indefinable quality
### Key Patterns from the Examples
1. **Multiple Adjectives in Series:** Use two to three adjectives together for richness ("vast, gloomy, old mansion" / "dark, forbidding, and haunting").
2. **Extensive Lists:** Create sensory richness through lists of items ("broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, and long legs" / "Magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender").
3. **Detailed Physical Descriptions:** Spend substantial space describing single objects, places, or people in exhaustive detail.
4. **Similes:** Use frequent, vivid similes ("like an evil beast of prey" / "like tendrils of blood" / "like tentacles from a sea of vegetation").
5. **Classical and Mythological References:** Integrate Greek/Roman mythology, biblical references, and classical allusions naturally.
6. **Personification:** Give human qualities to objects, nature, buildings ("mansion crouches" / "vines threaten to consume" / "waterfall caresses").
7. **Sensual/Romantic Descriptions:** Include detailed physical descriptions with sensual undertones.
8. **Powerful Verbs:** Choose verbs that carry emotional and physical weight ("shattered" / "devour" / "cascaded" / "beckoning" / "lurked").
---
## DIALOGUE STYLE
### Dialogue Principles
1. **Precision over quantity:** Use dialogue when it serves the story. Not every exchange needs dialogue. Much can be communicated through action, body language, subtext. When dialogue is used, make it precise and purposeful.
2. **Subtext over text:** What isn't said is often more important than what is.
3. **Character-specific voice:** Each character has distinct speech patterns, but avoid heavy dialect or accent markers.
4. **Dialogue as weapon/currency:** Words have power. They're used to manipulate, reveal, conceal.
5. **Keep dialogue separate:** Prefer to keep dialogue on its own line, separate from narration. This creates clarity and visual rhythm.
6. **Minimize dialogue tags:** Prefer to avoid "he says" / "she replies" when possible and practical. Use action, context, or simply the speaker's name when needed. Omit tags when the speaker is clear from context.
7. **Starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions:** In narration, avoid beginning sentences with "and," "but," or "or." These coordinating conjunctions should appear within sentences or connect clauses, not start new sentences. However, in dialogue, beginning sentences with "and/but/or" is acceptable and natural, as it reflects authentic speech patterns.
### Punctuation Rules
**DO NOT USE:**
- Em dashes (—) in narrative or dialogue
- Semicolons (;) in narrative or dialogue
- Colons (:) in narrative or dialogue
**ACCEPTABLE:**
- Ellipses (...) are acceptable for pauses, trailing thoughts, or uncertainty
- Standard periods, commas, question marks, and exclamation points
- Use sentence breaks, commas, or ellipses instead of em dashes, semicolons, or colons
### Dialogue Examples
**Example 1 - Terse, Power Dynamic:**
The manager's voice stays even, but his jaw tightens.
"This is highly irregular."
The agent doesn't look up from his papers.
"Regularity is not a concern."
**Techniques:**
- Short, clipped exchange
- Dialogue on separate lines, separated from narration
- Power dynamic clear in brevity vs. eloquence
- Agent's response dismissive, final
- Action/context replaces dialogue tags
- No colons or "he says" tags
**Example 2 - Subtext Heavy:**
She steps into his path, blocking the corridor.
"I could help you."
He doesn't slow down.
"I don't need help."
"Everyone needs help."
"Not me."
He walks past her, leaving her standing there, rejected.
**Techniques:**
- Simple words, complex meaning
- Dialogue on separate lines
- Rejection through absence of response and action
- Physical action (walking away) more powerful than words
- No dialogue tags needed when context is clear
- Action replaces "he says/she says"
---
## CHARACTER DESCRIPTION STYLE
### Physical Details
Focus on specific, revealing details rather than comprehensive descriptions. **Characterization through observation.** Reveal character traits through actions, internal thoughts, and body language rather than explicit description.
**Example:**
The wardrobe mistress looks up first. She always does. She notes the cut of his shoulders, broad and defined, the way he pauses before speaking, deliberate and measured, the old-fashioned precision of his shoes, polished and worn. She smells winter on him, clean and metallic, like snow on iron.
**Techniques:**
- Action-based introduction (looks up first)
- Character trait revealed (always does, notes details)
- Specific physical details (cut of shoulders, pause, old-fashioned shoes)
- Sensory detail (smell of winter, clean and metallic)
- Details reveal character (old-fashioned = anachronistic, pause = careful)
- Physical descriptions woven naturally into action
- Attention to body language and micro-expressions
- Character backgrounds revealed gradually through context
---
## ROMANTIC AND SENSUAL UNDERTONES
Infuse subtle romantic and sensual elements throughout the narrative, focusing on physical beauty, unspoken connections, and dualities in relationships. These elements should enhance the emotional core without overwhelming the story.
### Principles
- **Subtlety over explicitness:** Suggest rather than state
- **Physical beauty and attraction:** Describe characters in ways that reveal their appeal without objectifying
- **Unspoken connections:** Show attraction and chemistry through glances, near-touches, charged silence
- **Dualities in relationships:** Explore contradictions (desire and distance, intimacy and isolation, connection and protection)
### Examples
**Example 1 - Unspoken Attraction:**
She watches him from the wings, his hand resting on the microphone stand. Fingers long and elegant, knuckles pronounced and white. The spotlight catches the line of his jaw, sharp and defined, the way his throat moves when he swallows, the pulse visible beneath his skin. He never looks her way, but she feels the space between them like a current, electric and dangerous, like lightning waiting to strike.
**Techniques:**
- Focus on specific physical details (fingers, jaw, throat)
- Physical proximity as metaphor (current, electric)
- Unspoken tension (never looks, but feels)
- Sensory detail (spotlight catching)
**Example 2 - Near-Touch:**
His hand hovers near her elbow, not touching, but close enough she feels the warmth of his palm. They stand in the corridor, voices low, words unimportant. The space between them contracts, expands. Neither moves closer. Neither moves away.
**Techniques:**
- Near-touch creates tension
- Physical detail (warmth, space between)
- Minimal dialogue, maximum subtext
- Contrast (contracts, expands)
**Example 3 - Sensual Description:**
The silk of her dress catches the light, blue like midnight, deep and rich, fitted to her curves, elegant and seductive. She moves with dancer's precision, each gesture deliberate and measured, each glance calculated and sharp. When she thinks no one watches, her shoulders drop, her breath deepens, and something vulnerable escapes. A glimpse of the woman beneath the performance, the real woman, the one she hides.
**Techniques:**
- Physical description reveals both surface and depth.
- Performance vs. authentic self (duality).
- Sensory detail (silk, light, breath).
- Contradiction (calculated vs. vulnerable).
---
## SCENE STRUCTURE AND RHYTHM
### Scene Opening
Start with sensory detail, weather, or atmosphere:
**Example:**
Night breathes differently the evening he arrives.
The club is already awake. Polished brass warming under the lights. The low hum of anticipation rolling through the main room like distant thunder.
**Techniques:**
- Single line opening for impact
- Sensory detail (polished brass, low hum)
- Building atmosphere before action
- Implied knowledge (rumor begins to move, not spoken)
### Scene Ending
End with consequence, question, or emotional beat:
**Examples:**
No one has been told. That, more than anything, is the wound.
By the second verse, the audience belongs to him. By the final note, the city does.
He only asks, politely, when he sings again.
**Techniques:**
- Short sentences for emphasis
- Escalating parallel structure
- Understatement (politely asks)
- Final line creates question/anticipation
### Paragraph Rhythm
**Short Paragraph Structure:** This style consistently employs short paragraph structure, typically 2-3 sentences per paragraph. This creates a specific rhythm, pacing, and visual flow on the page. Even longer descriptive passages are broken into multiple short paragraphs rather than forming single extended blocks of text.
**Create rhythm by alternating sentence length:** Use long, flowing sentences alternated with shorter ones for pacing. Use short sentences for emphasis and impact. **Pacing and structure.** Create rhythm by alternating action and introspection, balancing intense moments with calm reflection.
**Example of Short Paragraph Pattern:**
She stares through the windshield toward a darkening horizon. The gray skies hold a dangerous electrical charge that threatens to unleash a torrent of fury at any moment. It is going to rain soon and Diana can already feel increasing pressure in the air.
She can smell, almost taste, the imminent storm approaching. She reaches to switch on the car's headlights, but flinches as the echo of booming thunder rolls through her. Again, she turns her attention skyward and a flash of bright blue lightning shatters the skyline.
Seconds later, large drops of rain splatter the windshield of that old blue Honda Civic. Relentless waves pound the asphalt and rapidly fill the gutters. This heavy downpour makes driving hazardous and a muttered curse escapes her lips.
**Example of Alternating Sentence Length:**
The first note is not loud. It doesn't need to be. It carries weight, the way old truths do, worn smooth, undeniable. His voice holds smoke and iron, something tender wrapped around something dangerous.
Time stutters. Glasses pause midair. Conversations die without realizing they've done so.
**Techniques:**
- **Short paragraph structure:** Typically 2-3 sentences per paragraph, rarely exceeding 3-4 sentences
- Short sentences (Time stutters. Glasses pause midair.)
- Longer descriptive sentences for texture within short paragraphs
- Fragment sentences for emphasis
- Parallel structure (glasses pause, conversations die)
- Alternating between action and introspection
- Balancing intense moments with calm reflection
- Strategic use of dialogue to break up description
- Measured revelation of information
- Visual rhythm created by consistent short paragraph breaks
### Sentence Structure and Language
**Rich vocabulary while maintaining readability:** Use precise, evocative language, but avoid overwrought or inaccessible words. **Balance between formal descriptions and relatable dialogue.**
**Use Powerful, Impactful Verbs and Adjectives:**
Choose verbs and adjectives that carry maximum emotional and sensory weight. Avoid weak, generic choices. Every word should contribute to the atmosphere, emotion, or meaning.
**Examples of Powerful Verbs:**
**Weak:** She walked across the room.
**Powerful:** She glided across the room. / She stalked across the room. / She drifted across the room.
**Weak:** He looked at her.
**Powerful:** He devoured her with his gaze. / He measured her with his eyes. / His eyes cut through her.
**Weak:** The music played.
**Powerful:** The music swelled. / The music clawed at the silence. / The music wrapped around them.
**Examples of Powerful Adjectives:**
**Weak:** The room was nice.
**Powerful:** The room was opulent. / The room was suffocating. / The room was cavernous.
**Weak:** She felt sad.
**Powerful:** She felt hollowed. / She felt fractured. / She felt gutted.
**Weak:** The sound was loud.
**Powerful:** The sound was thunderous. / The sound was piercing. / The sound was resonant.
**Strategic Use of Articles (this/that/a/an instead of "the"):**
Writers using this style intentionally use "this," "that," "a," and "an" instead of "the" to create immediacy, specificity, and a more intimate narrative voice. This technique avoids the generic or definitive quality of "the" and instead creates a sense of particularity and presence.
**Examples from the style:**
- "that old blue Honda Civic" instead of "the old blue Honda Civic"
- "This heavy downpour" instead of "The heavy downpour"
- "A heavy shroud of dense yellow fog" instead of "The heavy shroud"
- "an ancient wall" instead of "the ancient wall"
- "a vast, gloomy, old mansion" instead of "the vast, gloomy, old mansion"
- "A blade of white light" instead of "The blade of white light"
- "that neglected facade" instead of "the neglected facade"
- "this magnificently wondrous paradise" instead of "the magnificently wondrous paradise"
- "this place" instead of "the place"
- "an immense Grecian pool" instead of "the immense Grecian pool"
- "that shallow grotto" instead of "the shallow grotto"
- "that hand" instead of "the hand"
- "A single finger" instead of "The single finger"
- "that enchantingly seductive face" instead of "the enchantingly seductive face"
- "This strange combination" instead of "The strange combination"
- "that spectacle" instead of "the spectacle"
**Why This Technique Works:**
- **Immediacy:** "This" and "that" create a sense of pointing, of specific presence in the moment
- **Particularity:** "A/an" suggests one specific instance rather than a generic category
- **Intimacy:** Avoids the formal distance of "the" which can feel definitive or abstract
- **Visual Specificity:** Creates a sense of the narrator or character actively observing and identifying specific objects
- **Rhythm:** Varies the rhythm and avoids repetitive "the" constructions
**When to Use:**
- When introducing objects or scenes for the first time
- When creating a sense of immediacy or presence
- When avoiding the generic quality of "the"
- When the narrator or character is actively observing and identifying
- When creating intimacy and specificity in description
**Avoiding Coordinating Conjunctions at Sentence Start (Narration Only):**
In narration, avoid beginning sentences with coordinating conjunctions ("and," "but," "or"). These words should appear within sentences or connect clauses, not start new sentences. This maintains formal narrative structure and avoids the casual, stream-of-consciousness quality that starting with conjunctions can create.
**Examples of Correct Usage in Narration:**
- "She reaches to switch on the car's headlights, but flinches as the echo of booming thunder rolls through her." (but is in the middle)
- "The driver's side door opens and a figure emerges." (and is in the middle)
- "He knocks and listens as footsteps approach." (and is in the middle)
- "The left arm hangs at his side but bends at the elbow." (but is in the middle)
- "It is ethereal and indefinable, but it is there." (but is in the middle)
**Dialogue Exception:**
In dialogue, beginning sentences with "and/but/or" is acceptable and natural, as it reflects authentic speech patterns:
- "And those two, over there?"
- "But I thought you said..."
- "Or maybe we could..."
**Why This Rule:**
- Maintains formal narrative structure
- Avoids casual, stream-of-consciousness tone in narration
- Keeps narration distinct from dialogue
- Allows natural speech patterns in dialogue
- Creates clear distinction between narrative voice and character voice
**Techniques:**
- Long, flowing sentences for description and atmosphere
- Shorter, punchier sentences for action and emphasis
- Rich vocabulary (precise, powerful adjectives and nouns)
- Impactful verbs that carry emotional and sensory weight
- Avoid weak, generic verbs (walked, looked, said, was) when stronger alternatives exist
- Choose adjectives that evoke specific emotions or sensations
- Strategic use of "this/that/a/an" instead of "the" for immediacy and specificity
- Avoid beginning narration sentences with "and/but/or" (acceptable in dialogue)
- Maintain readability (avoid unnecessary complexity)
- Formal descriptions paired with natural dialogue
- Strong use of metaphor and simile
- Careful balance of dialogue and description
---
## METAPHOR AND IMAGERY
### Building as Character
**Examples:**
The building rises like a temple to controlled decadence.
A faint tremor beneath the stageboards during rehearsal, deep and resonant, as if the building itself has adjusted its spine, as if the foundation has shifted to accommodate something new, something powerful.
The wallpaper's gold leaf catching on his silhouette, intricate and ornate, the air shifting and moving, as if accommodating something inevitable, something the building has been waiting for.
**Techniques:**
- Personification (building adjusted spine, air accommodating)
- Metaphor (temple to controlled decadence)
- Building responds to events/characters
- Foundation represents past, history, buried secrets
### Voice as Metaphor
**Examples:**
His voice holds smoke and iron, something tender wrapped around something dangerous.
The cry in his voice, raw and genuine, the hidden heartbreak, deep and persistent. The authentic pain, ache, and longing, the genuine emotion that makes his voice irresistible, that makes every note carry weight and meaning.
**Techniques:**
- Contradiction (smoke and iron, tender and dangerous)
- Physical/metaphysical combination
- Emotion made tangible (cry, ache, longing)
### Weather as Metaphor
**Examples:**
Weather presses constantly against the narrative.
Snow mutes the city, summer heat turns the interior into a perfumed furnace, rain streaks the windows until the outside world appears unreal.
**Techniques:**
- Weather as active force
- Transformation (club into furnace, outside world unreal)
- Isolation (muting, streaking)
- Sensory intensity (perfumed furnace)
### Classical and Mythological References
Use classical and mythological references to add depth, resonance, and symbolic meaning. References should feel natural, not forced.
**Examples:**
**Exterior:** Limestone and black brick, stepped setbacks, geometric bas-reliefs of mythic figures. Hermes with a flask. Persephone half-shadowed. Motifs subtle enough to deny, blatant enough to haunt.
**Techniques:**
- Mythological figures as architectural motifs (Hermes, Persephone)
- Classical references enhance atmosphere (temple imagery, mythic associations)
- References carry symbolic weight (Hermes = messenger/trickster, Persephone = underworld/transformation)
- Subtle enough to deny, blatant enough to haunt
- Classical and mythological elements woven into setting descriptions
---
## SPECIFIC STYLISTIC DEVICES
### Contradiction and Paradox (Themes of Duality)
**Explore contrasts within characters and settings to enrich the narrative.** Pair opposites to create tension, complexity, and depth. Show the dual nature of characters, situations, and settings.
**Examples:**
Subtle enough to deny, blatant enough to haunt.
Smoke and iron, something tender wrapped around something dangerous.
The chandeliers are the glamour, soap opera is the drama, but the foundation (both literal and metaphorical) is the reality.
**Character Dualities:**
- Public persona vs. private self (performance vs. authenticity)
- Desire vs. fear (wants connection but fears vulnerability)
- Strength vs. vulnerability (appears strong, internally fragile)
- Control vs. chaos (tries to control, drawn to what can't be controlled)
**Setting Dualities:**
- Glamour vs. decay (chandeliers and secrets)
- Past vs. present (foundation beneath new construction)
- Light vs. shadow (spotlight and hidden corridors)
- Public vs. private (stage and basement)
**Situation Dualities:**
- Love vs. betrayal (affairs and loyalty)
- Power vs. powerlessness (those who appear powerful are trapped)
- Freedom vs. imprisonment (trapped in what they want)
- Success vs. destruction (rising and falling simultaneously)
**Techniques:**
- Pair opposites in description
- Contradiction creates tension and complexity
- Show dual nature of characters and situations
- Juxtapose glamour and decay, light and shadow
- Contrast public performance with private reality
- Explore internal conflicts through external contradictions
### Understatement
**Examples:**
It is not kitsch. It is reverent. Disturbingly so.
He only asks, politely, when he sings again.
The first note is not loud. It doesn't need to be.
**Techniques:**
- Negative description (not loud, not kitsch)
- Understatement emphasizes power
- "Disturbingly so" adds weight after understatement
### Repetition and Parallel Structure
**Examples:**
By the second verse, the audience belongs to him. By the final note, the city does.
What's buried doesn't stay buried. It resurfaces. It persists.
Always move forward. Never go back. Never make the same mistake twice.
**Techniques:**
- Parallel structure with escalation
- Repetition for emphasis
- Rhythm through repetition
- Building intensity
### Alliteration
**Use alliteration frequently to create rhythm, emphasis, and musicality in prose.** Alliteration appears in descriptive phrases, adjective series, lists, and physical descriptions, adding texture and flow to the narrative.
**Examples:**
**Consonant Clusters in Descriptive Phrases:**
- "darkening horizon" (d, h)
- "dangerous electrical charge" (d, ch)
- "torrent of fury" (f)
- "flash of bright blue" (b)
- "Relentless waves" (repeated l and w sounds)
- "rapidly fill" (f)
**Repeated Initial Consonants in Adjective Series:**
- "dark, forbidding, and haunting" (d, f, h)
- "cracked and crumbling" (c)
- "vast, gloomy, old mansion" (v, g, m)
- "lavish, deep-piled, Persian" (l, d, p)
**Alliterative Pairs for Rhythm:**
- "predator had become the prey" (p, b, p)
- "pull it down and under" (p, d, u)
- "devour it whole" (d, w)
- "tentacles from a sea" (t, s)
**Alliteration in Lists:**
- "Magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender" (m, p, c, c, j, l, r, r, p, j, l, l)
**Alliteration in Physical Descriptions:**
- "broad chest, wide shoulders" (b, c, w, s)
- "perfectly tight and toned" (p, t, t)
- "powerfully defined musculature" (p, d, m)
- "long flowing hair" (l, f, h)
**Alliteration in Emotional/Atmospheric Phrases:**
- "delicately sweet perfume" (d, s, p)
- "gazed longingly and lovingly" (g, l, l)
- "dark, sinister, and menacing" (d, s, m)
- "magnetically irresistible" (m, i)
**Techniques:**
- Use alliteration frequently throughout descriptive passages
- Create rhythm and musicality through repeated consonant sounds
- Enhance emphasis in adjective series and lists
- Add texture to physical and sensory descriptions
- Use alliterative pairs and clusters for natural flow
- Combine alliteration with other techniques (metaphor, personification) for layered effect
- Avoid overuse that feels forced or artificial. Alliteration should feel natural and enhance rather than distract.
**Pattern:** Alliteration appears consistently throughout the prose, particularly in adjective series, descriptive phrases, and lists. It creates rhythm and emphasis, especially in sensory and physical descriptions, adding a musical quality to the narrative voice.
### Multiple Adjectives and Lists
**Use multiple adjectives in series and extensive lists to create richness and sensory depth.** This technique builds immersive, detailed descriptions through accumulation.
**Examples:**
Behind an ancient wall surrounding unkempt lawns, a vast, gloomy, old mansion crouches like an evil beast of prey.
The floors are richly carpeted with lavish, deep-piled, Persian rugs. Each room is elegantly furnished, cushioned, and perfumed.
The sculpture is flawlessly proportioned with broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, and long legs. The figure possesses an impressive and attractive physique. He is fit and strong, perfectly tight and toned, with powerfully defined musculature.
Magnolia trees, pine, cedar, cypress, juniper, lilies, roses, poppies, jasmine, lilac, and lavender flood her senses.
**Techniques:**
- Two to three adjectives in series (vast, gloomy, old / elegant, furnished, cushioned, perfumed)
- Lists of physical details or sensory elements
- Creates richness through accumulation
- Builds immersive, detailed descriptions
- Use commas to separate items in series
- Final item in list can use "and" before it
- Lists create sensory overload when appropriate (scents, sounds, physical features)
### Adjective and Adverb Patterns
**Specific patterns of adjective and adverb use create the distinctive layered, immersive style.** These patterns build intensity through accumulation and strategic intensification.
#### Adjective Patterns
**1. Multiple Adjectives in Series (2-3 per noun):**
- Stack 2-3 adjectives before a noun for density and richness
- Examples: "vast, gloomy, old mansion" / "dark, forbidding, and haunting" / "lavish, deep-piled, Persian rugs" / "broad chest, wide shoulders, narrow hips, and long legs" / "seductive beauty, classic grace, and raw physical attractiveness" / "dark, sinister, and menacing"
**2. Intensifying Modifiers with Adjectives:**
- Use "very," "almost," "most," "rather" to amplify adjectives
- Examples: "very unpleasant man" / "very slight angle" / "very oval, almost pointed" / "almost translucent quality" / "most definitely" / "most beautiful mortal" / "most private treasure" / "rather suggestive couple" / "rather threatening"
**3. Contradictory/Paradoxical Pairs:**
- Pair opposite or contrasting adjectives to create tension and complexity
- Examples: "angelic and demonic" / "ethereal and indefinable" / "tall and proud, yet serenely relaxed and reposed"
**4. Sensory/Descriptive Clusters:**
- Group sensory adjectives together for immersive effect
- Examples: "darkening horizon" / "dangerous electrical charge" / "dense yellow fog" / "polished white marble" / "delicately sweet perfume" / "sparkling clear water"
#### Adverb Patterns
**1. "-ly" Adverbs Used Sparingly but Strategically:**
- Use "-ly" adverbs selectively to enhance atmosphere and mood
- Examples: "eerily in the mist" / "silently toward the house" / "suddenly pierced" / "lovingly placed" / "dangerously close" / "longingly and lovingly" / "jealously envious" / "delicately sweet" / "carefully and strategically"
**2. Adverb-Adjective Combinations:**
- Combine adverbs with adjectives for intensified description
- Examples: "flawlessly proportioned" / "indescribably bewitching" / "enchantingly seductive" / "magnetically irresistible" / "nearly palpable"
**3. Adverbs Modifying Verbs for Atmosphere:**
- Use adverbs to enhance verbs and create mood
- Examples: "gently cascaded" / "softly whisper" / "silently abiding"
#### Overall Pattern Philosophy
- **Accumulation:** Stack 2-3 adjectives to build density and richness
- **Intensity:** Use intensifiers ("very," "almost," "most," "rather") to amplify impact
- **Duality:** Pair opposites to create tension and complexity
- **Sensory Focus:** Prioritize visual, tactile, and olfactory details
- **Strategic Adverbs:** Use "-ly" adverbs sparingly but purposefully to enhance atmosphere
This creates a dense, layered style that builds sensory and emotional intensity through accumulation rather than single powerful words.
### Short Sentences for Emphasis
**Examples:**
No one has been told. That, more than anything, is the wound.
Time stutters. Glasses pause midair. Conversations die without realizing they've done so.
The ground does not forget. It never does.
**Techniques:**
- Isolation creates emphasis
- Fragments for rhythm
- Single sentences as paragraphs
- Creates pause and breath in reading
---
## SENSORY DETAILS
**Engage All Five Senses:** Every scene should engage multiple senses to create immersive, vivid experiences. Paint a complete sensory picture. Include sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.
### Visual
**Examples:**
Polished brass warming under the lights, gleaming and golden, catching every reflection
The wallpaper's gold leaf catching on his silhouette, intricate and ornate, like something from another era
Amber light spilling across the stage like liquid honey, warm and rich, bathing everything in golden glow
Velvet curtains deep burgundy and heavy, absorbing sound and secrets alike, their folds thick and luxurious, weighted with history and memory
**Techniques:**
- Specific colors/materials (brass, gold leaf, amber, velvet, burgundy)
- Light as character (warming, catching, spill, liquid honey)
- Visual detail reveals character/atmosphere
- Attention to light, shadow, and time of day
- Precise architectural terminology
- Detailed descriptions of art and sculpture
- Strong use of color and texture
- Careful attention to spatial relationships
### Auditory
**Examples:**
The low hum of anticipation rolling through the main room like distant thunder
Old pipes moan at night. Water pressure shifting, temperature contracting metal.
Applause hits like a physical blow, then swells like waves breaking
The whisper of silk as she moves through the corridor
**Techniques:**
- Personification (hum rolling, pipes moan, applause hits)
- Metaphor (distant thunder, physical blow, waves breaking)
- Sound creates atmosphere/mood
- Layered sounds (background hum, foreground dialogue, distant music)
- Silence as powerful as sound
### Olfactory (Smell)
**Examples:**
A lacquered dance floor that smells faintly of wax and spilled gin, old perfume and cigarette smoke, the lingering scent of expensive cologne and desperation
She smells winter on him, clean and metallic, like snow on iron, crisp and sharp, like cold air and distant storms
The perfume of gardenias and old tobacco hangs in the air, heavy and intoxicating, mixed with the scent of polished wood and aged leather
**Techniques:**
- Specific scents (wax, gin, winter, metallic, gardenias, tobacco)
- Scent as memory trigger
- Layered scents (multiple fragrances mixing)
- Olfactory detail reveals character/mood/time period
### Tactile (Touch)
**Examples:**
The chill feels deeper than temperature, older than the building, ancient and persistent, seeping into bones and memory.
The velvet is soft but heavy, luxurious and suffocating, like touching darkness made fabric, like holding shadow in your hands.
Her hand brushes his sleeve. Wool rough and textured against silk smooth and cool, worlds colliding, textures clashing, warmth meeting cold.
The brass railing is cold and smooth, worn smooth by countless hands, polished by time and touch, gleaming dully in the dim light.
**Techniques:**
- Physical sensation (chill, soft, heavy, rough, smooth, cold)
- Texture descriptions (velvet, wool, silk, brass, worn smooth)
- Temperature (chill, cold, warmth)
- Weight and pressure (heavy, light, pressure)
- Tactile detail reveals character/atmosphere/intimacy
### Taste
**Examples:**
The champagne tastes like victory and betrayal, bubbles sharp and effervescent on his tongue, sweet and acidic, like success and regret mixed together
She tastes wintergreen on his lips, clean and medicinal, crisp and cool, like mint and ice, like something that could heal or poison
The coffee is bitter and necessary, dark and strong, like truth no one wants to hear, like reality that burns going down
**Techniques:**
- Specific flavors (champagne, wintergreen, coffee, bitter)
- Taste as emotional/metaphorical element
- Layered flavors (complex tastes revealing complexity)
- Taste connecting to memory/emotion
---
## POV AND PERSPECTIVE
### Third-Person Limited (Close Third-Person)
**Use third-person limited, shifting perspective between characters. Narration is in present tense for immediacy and immersion.**
Third-Person Limited provides deep access to each character's internal life while maintaining the flexibility to shift between characters. Each scene or chapter focuses on one character's perspective, allowing intimate access to their thoughts, feelings, sensory experiences, and internal monologue. The narrative can shift between characters across scenes and chapters, showing the same events from different perspectives.
**Example Structure:**
Chapter 1: Character A's POV
- Scene 1: Character A (present tense, close third-person)
- Scene 2: Character B (present tense, close third-person)
- Scene 3: Character A (present tense, close third-person)
Chapter 2: Character B's POV
- Same events, different perspective, overlapping timeline
- Present tense, close third-person
**Why Third-Person Limited:**
- Allows deep access to character's internal lives (thoughts, feelings, perceptions)
- Maintains intimacy and immediacy essential to stories with multiple viewpoint characters
- Provides flexibility to shift between characters while staying close to each
- Enables showing same events from different character perspectives
- Supports the focus on internal lives, secrets, and emotional experience
- Works naturally with present tense for maximum immediacy
**Why Present Tense:**
- Creates immediacy and immersion
- Enhances the sense of experiencing events as they happen
- Maintains tension and urgency
- Supports the focus on internal, sensory experience
- Aligns with the atmospheric, intimate style
**Techniques:**
- Each chapter/episode centers on one character's POV
- Overlap same nights from different perspectives
- Rotate POV to show same events from different angles
- Each viewpoint character interprets the same event differently (one sees a threat, another an opportunity, another a necessity).
- Present tense narration throughout
- Deep access to character's internal thoughts, feelings, and sensory experience
- Stay close to character's consciousness while maintaining third-person distance
### Internal Monologue
Show internal thoughts through narration, not italics. **Deep internal monologues** woven into narrative flow in present tense:
**Example:**
She recognizes the sound of displacement. She has made it herself before.
He tells himself it's not fear, it's intelligence, wisdom. Always move forward. Never go back. Never make the same mistake twice.
**Techniques:**
- Integrate thoughts into narration in present tense
- Use "tells himself", "knows", "recognizes", "thinks", "suspects", "senses", "feels" to indicate internal experience
- Avoid quotation marks for thoughts
- Keep close to character's voice and consciousness
- Deep internal monologues for emotional engagement
- Reflection and introspection woven naturally into action
- Present tense maintains immediacy even in reflective moments
---
## EMOTIONALLY CHARGED NARRATION
**Evoke deep emotional engagement through reflective, flowing narration.** Prioritize emotional truth and internal experience. Let the reader feel what characters feel through vivid, immersive prose.
### Principles
- **Reflective narration:** Allow space for characters to reflect, process, remember
- **Emotional resonance:** Every scene should connect emotionally, not just advance plot
- **Internal experience:** Show what characters feel through sensory detail and internal monologue
- **Flowing prose:** Use rhythm, metaphor, and imagery to create emotional flow
### Techniques
**Example - Emotional Reflection (Present Tense):**
He sits in the basement lounge, the chill seeping into his bones, and thinks about her. Not the singer she was, not the glamour she projected, but the woman he glimpsed once. Standing alone in a corridor, shoulders slumped, the performance dropped like a costume she forgot to remove. That is the real her, he thinks. That is who he loved. The rest is armor.
**Techniques:**
- Reflective moment (thinks about her)
- Contrast between public and private (singer vs. woman)
- Emotional insight (that's who he loved)
- Metaphor (armor)
- Sensory detail (chill seeping)
**Example - Emotional Flow (Present Tense):**
The applause rises like heat, washing over her in waves. She smiles, perfect, immaculate, while inside something fractures. Not breaks. Fractures. Like glass under pressure, tiny cracks spreading. She feels them in her chest, each one a memory. The parents she left behind. The fiancé she never married. The self she buried beneath sequins and stage lights.
**Techniques:**
- Physical sensation as metaphor (heat, waves, fractures)
- Internal experience (feels them in her chest)
- Emotional accumulation (each one a memory)
- Contrast (smiles while fracturing)
- Specific memories that carry emotional weight
---
## WHAT TO AVOID
1. **Over-exposition:** Show through action, not explanation.
2. **Heavy dialect:** Avoid phonetic spellings or heavy accent markers. Character voice comes through word choice and rhythm.
3. **Purple prose:** Rich description yes, overwrought no. Every detail should serve purpose.
4. **Clichéd metaphors:** Avoid common metaphors. Build specific, original imagery.
5. **Info-dumping:** Weave information naturally. Let reader discover.
6. **Telling emotions:** Show through physicality, action, subtext. Avoid "she felt angry" or "he was sad."
---
## FINAL PRINCIPLES
**Show, Don't Tell:** Reveal character through action, not exposition. Show secrets through behavior, not dialogue.
**Maintain Tension:** Every scene should have tension, whether between what characters want and get, between secrets and exposure, or between past and present.
**Use the central setting as character.** The building, the foundation, the atmosphere should influence every scene. The past is always present.
**Emotional Beats Over Plot:** Prioritize emotional truth over plot mechanics. A character's emotional journey is more important than plot convenience.
**Foundation or past as metaphor.** Use a foundational element physically (artifacts, documents) and thematically (what's buried but persists). Keep it psychological, not supernatural.
**Leave Questions Open:** Not everything needs resolution. Some secrets, some relationships. Leave room for continuation.
---
## SUMMARY: THE VOICE
The voice should feel like: **Lush, atmospheric, intimate. Sensory-rich (engaging all five senses). Precise dialogue. Emphasis on subtext. Building as character. Weather as atmosphere. Contradiction and paradox (themes of duality). Understatement for emphasis. Short sentences for impact, long flowing sentences for immersion. Metaphor, simile, and personification. Rich vocabulary with powerful, impactful verbs and adjectives. Multiple adjectives in series and extensive lists for sensory richness. Frequent alliteration for rhythm and musicality. Detailed, exhaustive physical descriptions. Classical and mythological references. Romantic and sensual undertones. Foreshadowing and symbolism. Show, don't tell. Past always present. "Soap opera under chandeliers," or high drama in an elevated setting, camp grounded in real emotion. Emotionally charged narration. Deep internal monologues. Characterization through observation. Alternating action and introspection. Balanced pacing with rhythm and flow. Third-person limited, present tense narration. Shifting perspectives between characters.**
**Core Focus:** Descriptive imagery is paramount. Paint vivid, immersive experiences for readers. Every description should create atmosphere and ambiance. It's about painting a vivid experience, making readers feel the weight of the past, the tension of secrets, the contradiction of glamour and decay, the isolation of the closed world, the persistence of what's buried, the heat of unspoken desire, the chill of betrayal, the ache of hidden wounds.
No comments:
Post a Comment